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Dear Third Space…

I dislike my anatomy lab partner, but I dislike confrontation even more. Do you have any suggestions about how I can passive-aggressively voice my displeasure?

Silent Rage Behind the Scalpel

Dear Silent,

The important thing to remember when donning the blue scrubs and gown is to remain professional. As we learned during ITP, being professional involves not raising your voice, not using your scalpel to nick your partner’s forearm, not burying fat in your partner’s hair, not naming your cadaver after your partner, not spraying formalin in your partner’s locker, not hiding your partner’s pants in the changing room, and not taking a hammer and chisel to your partner’s glutes...

Dear Scalpel,

Forget professionalism. Not all of us can be fortunate or good looking enough to experience the magic that happens when gloved hand touches gloved hand across the retropharyngeal space. For some, anatomy is only leaking bile and bitterness. But don't fret: Third Space Has Answers.™ Since you're probably as busy as you are spiteful, we've prepared a list of ten, simple ways to show that you put the marginal pass in passive-aggressive...


We're learning how to physically examine patients this year, and although I practice well on classmates, every time I see a real patient I get nervous, start dropping my exam tools all over the floor, and forget a million things. Last week I almost poked a patient in the eye with my otoscope, and then I tried to examine the oral cavity with my tuning fork. What can I do to improve?

Sweaty Meddie

Dear S&M,

It’s important to keep in mind what you learned the first week of medical school: patients are people, too. Your problem is that you’re treating your patient encounters differently from your interactions with other people.

The next time you have to examine a patient, pretend you’re on a date. Start by looking deep into his eyes. Whisper sweet nothings into his ear. And then his other ear. Tell him to smile at you; if things are going well, maybe ask him to show you a little tongue. Remember to say, “Try to resist me,” as you push his arms away.


Should I put my MCAT scores on my résumé?

Gwen Irr


Here at Third Space we get a lot of questions about what and what not to put on your résumé. We’ve compiled a guide of all our advice in one place.

Résumé Guide: DOs and DON’Ts...


I've been preparing for quite a considerable time to be a dermatology gunner. However, I recently realized that this specialty involved far too much, "Would you please allow me to part your buttocks so that I can inspect your perianal psoriasis?" and disappointingly little, "Don't worry; we can get that blemish taken care of in time for your beauty pageant." What should I do?

Skin Deep

Dear Skin Deep,

Did you think Dermatology was going to be mostly working on pretty people and their perfect skin? Why would people with perfect skin go to a dermatologist, unless they were also having an affair? How many affairs were you planning on having?


Recently, it has come to my attention that the world will end in 2012. I am currently on a trajectory that leads me to graduate in 2014. What should I do?

Thank you,
Fearing For Our Collective Kin

FFOCK! You raise a good point. If none of us are on track to graduate and if all of us are on track to graduate from our lives, then we should be reckless. Lift your nose from the grindstone and smell the roses. Everything will smell good now that your nose is not pressed against a grindstone...

Special thanks to our Chief Complainers, past and present: Dan Barkhuff, Shekinah Elmore, Camila Fabersunne, Morgan Hennessy, Michael Lin, Mitalee Patil, Edwin P, Ben Schanker, Jack Varon, Monica Wood, Shara Yurkiewicz


Chief Complaints

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Harvard Medical School Literary Magazine.